Pick Your Poison
by Kandakicksass
Summary: Itachi remembers everything about that night. Apparently, though, Sasuke doesn't remember quite enough to be frightened, and Itachi is forced to pick his poison...


Itachi remembers everything.

It is Fugaku who goes down first, and there is no remorse in his death. His son's face is a mask hiding hatred and anger. He did not enjoy slaughtering people he cared about… but he took pleasure in this kill.

Mikoto is another matter. She was sweet, and kind. She harbored Fugaku, however, and Itachi tries to remember this as he doesn't bother with weapons, instead opting to bury a fist in her gut. She doubles over, looking up at him through horrified eyes. She is beneath him. Still, he is not heartless. He leans down, and kisses her cheek as he draws a kunai across her throat.

She coughs up blood as she goes down and lands in front of him, her body on top of her husband's in an x formation. Itachi glares down at them, his Sharingan swirling lazily. They deserved this. Itachi doesn't like the look of their position. Carefully, he pulls his mother into his arms and yanks Fugaku out of the way. Then, he lays her down, softly, cradling her head on the way down. She is still alive, but dying. He had ruptured something, badly, when he had dealt her the blow. He looks down at her, allowing his regret and sadness to leak into his expression. He leans down and kisses her cheek again.

"I'm sorry, Mother," he whispers. "It was an order." It is not an excuse, but she deserves to know why. He picks Fugaku up by the collar and lays the corpse on top of her so that they are in an x formation yet again. He would have thrown her down if it wouldn't have hurt Mikoto.

He has now killed them all, except two. Madara, who has taken a little under half of the town himself, is still alive and Itachi has no intentions to change that. Madara is now his only source of comfort. He is much like Itachi, Madara, or rather, it is the other way around. Itachi looks up to his ancestor, this founder of Konoha.

His little brother is also alive. Itachi, though his orders were firm, cannot kill Sasuke. He refuses to touch him. He has mercy in his heart, he thinks, desperately trying to reason why he wants to spare the life of this innocent little boy, but the truth is that Itachi loves him. In the midst of everything else, he loves Sasuke and that is the truth. He would give everything for this little boy.

And he hopes that Sasuke would not find out it was him, but it was too late to think about that. Those familiar footsteps are coming and Mikoto has enough life left in her to scream at him not to come in. He will not listen, this Itachi knows. Itachi could run now, and Sasuke would never know… but at the same time, he wanted the boy to know it was him. Selfish. He wanted the boy to remember him. He wanted to leave some part of himself with Sasuke.

Sasuke's expression is horrible and Itachi has to struggle not to cry. He was going to lose him.

He pulls the mangekyo; he can't help it. Sasuke asked, and he deserves to know as well.

"Why…" he chokes, slumped on the wood floor. "…did you…"

Itachi must lie to him. He cannot tell him that his village has transpired against him. Itachi's heart is breaking, but he would never tell him.

"To measure my capacity," he lies and he knows that this is only the first of a long line of lies that will lead to Sasuke's hatred. He does not want to be hated, but he will accept it in the place of love. For Sasuke, he will.

"Measure your capacity…? That's it…? That's the only reason… for killing everybody," the boy whispers, and he probably does not realize it, but he is crying. Itachi doesn't lie now, but he will again soon.

"I had to."

It is better for Sasuke in the long run to hate him than hate the village. Better being a recluse than a village traitor. Itachi knows his brother. He will grow up keeping distance from others, no matter how sweet he is now. That innocence will disolve, disolve to make room for hatred.

"What kind of… excuse… is that?" he says, his voice getting louder. "_What is wrong with you_?" He has jumped up and is now running at Itachi. Itachi must stop him, and it kills him a little inside to do it, but he bury's his fist in Sasuke's stomach as well. He does not put much force behind the blow; he does not want to hurt his brother.

He slumps again, laying in front of his father's face, and the tears really start to flow. He jumps up, and runs for the door.

"Don't kill me!" he cries in the middle of a wail. He is running away from his older brother and now Itachi wants to cry as well. Before following his brother, he wipes at his eyes furiously.

"You are not even worth killing," he lies loudly, calling after Sasuke, putting false anger into his voice. He wanted to do this apathetically, but with Sasuke, emotion was inevitable. "Baby brother, you're pathetic!"

Itachi starts, and suddenly, he is no longer hurting his brother, but staring at the ceiling in his room, his body heavy with sleep and dripping with sweat. He shakes his head, clearing it. He has dreamed about that night repeatedly since he had last seen his brother. He was almost thirteen now, Itachi realizes. His birthday is the next day and he knows his little brother will not celebrate it.

He wants to see him, but he is only too aware of his parting words to Sasuke.

_Hate me, and live like the coward you are!_

"Pick your poison, Itachi," he whispers to himself. Go see Sasuke, or stay here. Both have their perks, but both will hurt him. Go see Sasuke and see his hatred. It would hurt, even though all he wanted was a glimpse of the face he loved so much. To see him and let him go again would kill him. Then again, staying here wasn't the best of options either. He would always wonder what would have happened if he had gone. "Pick your poison," he repeated to himself and stood.

All he had to do was walk outside his room before he ran into Pein.

"Leader," he says softly, his voice quiet. Pein stops walking, Konan at his side. Konan looks worried about him.

"Yes, Itachi?" he ginger-haired man replies, nodding.

"I have to do something. It may take a day or two."

A light goes off in Konan's eyes. He has spoken with her on more than one occasion; she is not a bad person to rant to, and he has taken advantage of that before.

"It's Sasuke's birthday tomorrow, isn't it?" she asks, and he nods, trying not to wince at the sound of his brother's name spoken out loud.

"Of course, Itachi," Pein says, his voice kind. He is not a bad man. None of them are, really. Hidan and Kakuzu, even, were merely bad mouthed with tempers. They were not bad men.

"Thank you," Itachi says, and opens the door to his room, tossing his cloak inside. He shuts the door after watching it land on his bed, and takes off, running down the hallway at a pace that will ensure he gets to Konoha before sundown tomorrow.

He is wrong. Along the way, he has gotten held up with a couple mist shinobi, and this has taken an hour of his time. He has taken his anger at the disturbance out, and both shinobi are unconcious as he leaves. One is going to die, and Itachi doesn't feel bad for it anymore. He was an obstical, a block in the way of him and his brother. He took it down.

When he arrives, it is dark, and most lights are out. He curses his luck; he has almost missed Sasuke's birthday. He knows where the boy lives, and gets there quickly. His apartment is on the seventh floor and Itachi doesn't have a problem with this. The crawls up, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He is dressed simply, for lack of a better word, only in a fishnet-lined black t-shirt and a pair of typical shinobi order pants. He is wearing black zori and since he has left the cloak at the Akatsuki compound, he would normal if it weren't for the mark on his hitai-ate. Even though he looks normal, he knows that if any one of the older ninja see him, he's done for. He'll be recognized immediately.

But he is not seen, not even as he reaches his brother's window, which is open, and peers in, spotting the genin on his bed, his eyes closed and his breathing normal. He is asleep.

This is the best of options for Itachi, and even though seeing him creates a dull ache in his heart, it is better that he doesn't have to see Sasuke attempt to kill him. Sasuke actually looks rather innocent, if the truth be told, while he is asleep, and Itachi can't help but smile. He slides into the room, his lean body not having any trouble making it in through the small window. He finds himself at Sasuke's bedside before he slides to his knees, resting his arms on the bed.

Involuntarily, he reaches out, twirling a lock of Sasuke's bangs around his index finger. Sasuke sighs, his mouth opening slightly, and his lower lip trembled. Itachi watches in concern as Sasuke's eyebrows pull together. It's a heart-breaking expression and Itahci doesn't like it on his brother.

"Itachi," he whispers in his sleep and Itachi freezes before his expression collapses on itself, his weary body giving. He leans against the bed heavily, carressing his brother's cheek with on hand, the other reaching for his little brother's. He grasps it and Sasuke, in his sleep, holds on tight. "Itachi, don't go. I love you."

Itachi blinks down at his brother. He is dreaming about Itachi, dreaming—and he doesn't want him to go. Itachi chokes on nothing, tears prickling his eyes. He has missed him, far too much.

Itachi leans in, unable to help himself, and presses his lips softly to Sasuke's, squeezing his eyes shut tight to stop the tears when Sasuke presses back, his movements slow, but there. In his sleep, he is kissing his brother back, and Itachi just wants to curl up next to him and cry.

Just when Itachi thinks that he will get away with this small, sweet moment with his brother, those obsidian eyes open slightly, then go wide, and Itachi jerks away. His body is still weak, and all he can manage is to move back to where he was kneeling, leaning on his body. He is exhausted, mentally and physically, and he doesn't know if he can stand to see Sasuke's hatred.

But Sasuke is not angry. His eyes show merely shock before they shut tight.

"I'm dreaming still," he whispers.

"I'm really here, Sasuke," Itachi whispers back and Sasuke's eyes open again. He sits up, sliding to the end of the bed and Itachi moves away, not wanting to fight. He knows that Sasuke will attack him and this saddens him. He is sure that Sasuke will hit him when he holds his arm out, but all he does in grab a fistful of Itachi's shirt. Before he fully realizes what is happening, Sasuke has hold of him, and is sobbing into his shoulder.

"I missed you so much," Sasuke is wailing and Itachi is stunned, his arms coming up to clutch at Sasuke's back, holding the boy to him like a lifeline. "Why, Itachi, why?"

"They made me," he whispers and he doesn't know what else to say. Luckily, Sasuke doesn't wait for him to before pulling back only to slam their lips together, being rough and not caring. Itachi knows that brothers aren't supposed to do this, but he wants to. He wants this so badly he is willing to die for it. He is already getting hard, his body aching with fatigue, but the love and lust and _need_ make up for how tired he was.

He needs this, he needs this from Sasuke. His hands are all over Sasuke's body, holding it like a sacred object in his grip, and Sasuke is just there, in his arms, being beautiful and enjoying the feeling of being adored.

He is still crying, Sasuke, still crying hard, even as his erection gets heavy with blood, standing at attention for Itachi.

"I love you," he keeps repeating and that's better than anything else he could say to Itachi. "I love you so much…"

Itachi coats three fingers with Sasuke's pre cum as he jerks him off with one hand, and with the other tears his clothes off his body. Sasuke doesn't object. If anything, he urges him forward with little moans and arches. Sasuke is putting out enough pre cum to provide adequate lubricant and Itachi coats his cock, too, just to be safe, even though he's putting out a healthy amouth as well. He works one finger into Sasuke's body, bending it at the knuckle and petting the walls of Sasuke's passage because he knows it has to hurt.

Sasuke isn't complaining and Itachi, even as shocked at somewhat amazed as he was, could appriciate the view. He had Sasuke's milky white chest in front of him, the color barely healthier than his own skin, and then, above that, a beautiful red face, the color adorable. His messy hair floated like a halo around his head and Itachi teared up again just looking at him.

"You're like an angel," he whispers and Sasuke manages a smile as Itachi fits another finger up his ass. He knows that this should disgust him, but with Sasuke—his little brother—it feels natural. He loves Sasuke, so much. He doesn't care what others will think, and he knows that if they know, they will think. If their parents were alive, Itachi and Sasuke would probably be disowned at this point. Neither care. As it were, Fugaku and Mikoto were probably turning in their graves. Itachi couldn't work up the state of mind enough to care about that, either.

He adds the last finger, not liking the pain twisting his brother's face.

"I'm ready," Sasuke says after a heartbeat. "Please, Itachi-nii, I need you inside me. I've waited long enough." Itachi is shocked at his words. He wanted this, too? How long…?

But Itachi didn't ask. He just lined himself up, trying to push in slowly, trying not to hurt Sasuke, because he knew for a fact he was bigger than three fingers, but the younger Uchiha just slammed himself down, letting out a soft scream of pain and pleasure. Sasuke had landed point-blank on his prostate and that helped ease the pain somewhat. It was still there, but there was small inkling of pleasure that gave Sasuke the incentive to see it through.

"I love you," Sasuke gasps and after a moment, as per Sasuke's request, Itachi throws him on his back. "Fuck me!" He screams it again, loudly, and Itachi wraps a hand around Sasuke's arousal and slams his entire length into the smaller raven, repeatedly, striking his prostate with every thrust.

Again, and again, Itachi slams into him and it is a relief when Sasuke comes, hard, coating Sasuke hand. Sasuke's body clenches around his own erection and in ecsasy, he comes as well.

When it is over, Itachi tucks him back in and turns to leave without a word.

"Itachi, stay with me," Sasuke croaks, grabbing the hem of his shirt. Itachi examines his expression and is delighted to find that his brother means it.

"And you don't hate me?" Itachi asks softly and Sasuke shakes his head, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I could never hate you," he says pleadingly. "I love you, aniki. So much."

So Itachi climbs in bed with him, smiling in happiness when Sasuke worms his way into Itachi's arms, settling there. As he watches Sasuke fall to sleep, he closes his eyes as well. He had picked his poison only to discover that he was invincible and with Sasuke at his side, he always would be.

**My fics have been getting really dark lately, so it's nice to be able to write something with a happy ending. This actually really different than anything I've ever written before. I'm proud of myself. Maybe it seems really different because of the tense I'm using, but I think it gives it a whole new air that I really like. **

**As to the length, I've been trying not to start stuff I can't finish, so I've been doing some short stuff in order to get my groove back. It's not that I can't write—because I think I'm at a writing high—it's just that the length isn't long. I'm getting impatient again, I suppose. Most of my stuff lately have been bordering on drabble. Well, please enjoy, and review.**

**Kandakicksass**


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